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I'm an 18-year-old woman who has been with my current boyfriend for a year, but this has been an issue across all of my sexual relationships.

In order to reach climax, I have to fantasize about kinky role-play-type situations.

He responded that he cares for me a lot—but that's it. I don't want kids, so time isn't critical for me, but I don't want to be with someone who won't ever love me. "The fear with someone who doesn't 'feel' is that they may be a psychopath or a sociopath, terms that are used interchangeably," said Jon Ronson, author of The Psychopath Test: A Journey Through the Madness Industry. My hunch is that your boyfriend's problem isn't an inability to feel love, LOVE, but an inability to recognize the feelings he's having as love.

Lacking One Vaunted Emotion You didn't use the P-word (psychopath) or the S-word (sociopath), LOVE, but both came to mind as I was reading your letter. "And lots of the items on the psychopath checklist relate to an inability to experience deep emotions—like Shallow Affect, Lack of Empathy and Lack of Remorse. This line: 'The only emotions he feels are fear and anxiousness that he'll disappoint the people he cares about' is the critical one. In fact, my favorite thing a psychologist said to me about this was: 'If you're worried you may be psychopath, that means you aren't one.' Also, psychopaths don't care about disappointing loved ones! (Or potentially love, as it's only been eight months.) What is romantic love but a strong desire to be with someone?

He found a place that did "sensual" couples massage. During sex, he talks about the idea of someone else being around.

The thing is, he confessed to me recently that he doesn't really "feel." The way he explained it is, the only emotions he feels are fear and anxiousness that he'll disappoint the people he cares about. He uses MDMA and he comes alive—he seems the way a "normal" person does when they're in love.Tell him no more dirty talking about this shit during sex, no more entertaining the idea at all.Being with you means giving up this fantasy, BIGSIN, and if he's not willing to give it up—and to shut up about it—then you'll have to break up.I'm a 33-year-old woman from Melbourne, Australia, dating a 24-year-old man.We've been dating for about eight months; it is exclusive and official.

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