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I wanted to know that living with an addict was possible, and that he could change.

When people suggested I had issues or that I should leave my husband I was mortified.

I’ve been to an Al-Anon meeting but it’s not enough.

Often, finance, children and other circumstances prevent any simple solutions.

It refers to a dysfunctional way of helping someone else in such a way that hurts the enabler and the person they think they are helping.

I realized when I did things that I knew made his addiction and life easier, even if it was acting crazy so he could feel justified to abuse drugs more, that I was not only enabling him but hurting myself.

But, they still think one day they will say something and the addict might all of a sudden realize they are. An enabler eventually loses their own boundaries and their lives become convoluted and controlled by addiction.

Enablers lose their identity and do not understand why they keep on doing what they are doing.

There is another general rule in making a wrenching decision. That is, whichever course is more reversible might be considered first. Loneliness and anxiety, among other troubles, are almost universally difficult for partners of alcoholics. This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 2nd, 2008 at pm and is filed under Addiction, Couples-Marriage, Transition.

In your case, it is much easier to recover from the mistake of waiting a bit more, than to recover after discovering that divorce was a mistake. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

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